Stinky Carl

Christian DeHaemer

Written By Christian DeHaemer

Posted May 2, 2025

It was last summer in Dallas.  The temperature was 109 at the airport when I had the worst Uber ride of my life. 

Picture this: I’m in some beat-up sedan that smells like a mix of stale cigarettes and gym socks left in a microwave. The driver, let’s call him Carl, is blasting some godawful techno music that sounds like a robot having a seizure. 

I’m trying to give him directions, but Carl’s got his own plan—driving the long way around the beltway, yelling at every car that honks like it’s their fault. He’s swerving, cursing, and at the end, has the nerve to ask for a five-star rating. 

I gave him one star and a tip: take a shower. That nightmare ride made me dream of a world where drivers like Carl are replaced by robotaxis—clean, quiet, and incapable of road rage. Let’s dive into why autonomous taxis are the future, the explosive growth ahead, and how you can cash in with the right companies and ETFs.

The Robotaxi Revolution: No More Carls

Robotaxis are set to flip the ridesharing game upside down. These driverless wonders use AI, LiDAR, radar, and cameras to navigate roads with precision, slashing human error, traffic jams, and emissions. No more dealing with drivers who smell like a landfill or think they’re auditioning for Mad Max. The tech is here, regulations are catching up, and the market’s about to go parabolic.

According to MarketsandMarkets, the robotaxi market was a measly $0.4 billion in 2023 but is projected to hit $45.7 billion by 2030, with a jaw-dropping 91.8% CAGR. Fortune Business Insights sees it soaring from $1.71 billion in 2022 to $118.61 billion by 2031, an 80.8% CAGR. Market Research Future pegs the self-driving taxi market at $3.33 billion in 2023, climbing to $50 billion by 2032 with a 35.11% CAGR. That kind of growth makes me want to find an investment.

Here is the deal: AI and sensor tech are getting smarter, making robotaxis safer than Carl on his best day. Governments are greenlighting autonomous vehicles—China’s got 16,000 test licenses and 20,000 miles of public roads open as of August 2024, while the U.S. Self-Drive Act is pushing for more AVs. Plus, robotaxis are dirt cheap to run—no driver salaries, no coffee breaks, just 24/7 service. Ride-hailing giants like Uber and Lyft are licking their chops, ready to swap out human drivers for machines.

The Big Four:

Here are the companies leading the robotaxi charge:

  • Waymo (Alphabet: GOOG): The 800-pound gorilla of robotaxis, Waymo’s already running 150,000 driverless rides a week in Phoenix, San Francisco, and L.A. They’re expanding to 10 new U.S. cities in 2025, like Las Vegas and Austin, and teaming up with Hyundai to slap their tech into personal cars. Alphabet’s got the first mover advantage.  Waymo does not seem to be priced into the share price.
  • Zoox (Amazon: AMZN): Amazon’s Zoox is building funky, bidirectional taxis with no steering wheel—perfect for city grids. They’re testing in several cities and launching in Vegas in 2025, powered by AWS’s cloud muscle. Jeff Bezos doesn’t bet small, and Zoox is his robotaxi play.
  • Tesla (TSLA): Elon Musk’s Tesla is gunning for the crown with its “Cybercab” robotaxi. The Full Self-Driving software is improving fast, and X posts are buzzing about Tesla grabbing 50% of an $8-10 trillion market by 2029, per ARK Invest. Elon’s a wild card, but he’s got a knack for winning.
  • Baidu (BIDU): China’s answer to Waymo, Baidu’s Apollo Go is scaling up, testing in Hong Kong, and partnering with GAC AION to churn out fully autonomous EVs by 2025. China’s all-in on AVs, and Baidu’s riding the wave.

Smaller players like EasyMile and Motional are also in the mix, pushing autonomous shuttles and ride-hailing tech.

ETFs: Spread Your Bets, Avoid the Potholes

Want to ride the robotaxi wave without picking one horse? ETFs are your ticket. Here’s the lineup:

  • Global X Autonomous & Electric Vehicles ETF (DRIV): Tracks the Solactive Autonomous & Electric Vehicles Index, covering AV tech and EV makers. With $1.01 billion in assets and a 0.68% expense ratio, it’s a solid play.
  • ARK Autonomous Technology & Robotics ETF (ARKQ): Cathie Wood’s actively managed fund dives into AVs, robotics, and AI. It’s got $1.1 billion in assets and a 0.75% expense ratio. 
  • KraneShares Electric Vehicles and Future Mobility ETF (KARS): Focuses on EV and AV companies, launched in 2018. It’s a newer player but worth a look.

The robotaxi market’s a goldmine, but it’s not all smooth sailing. Regulations are patchy—Fortune Business Insights calls it a major hurdle. Safety concerns linger, and incidents like Cruise’s 2023 hiccup spook investors. Development costs are sky-high, and public trust isn’t a given. Still, the upside is massive—a $7-11 trillion market by 2030, per some estimates. Get in early, and you will be sitting pretty.

All the best,

Christian DeHaemer

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