Michael Bloomberg is a Dipshit

Mayor's Latest Comments are an Outrage

Written by Jimmy Mengel
Posted June 10, 2013

Michael Bloomberg is a dipshit.

I know that may sound crass, unprofessional, even libelous... but after the mayor's arrogant comments this week regarding medical marijuana, it needs to be said.

(And so you know, my editor axed a series of adjectives before agreeing on dipshit. So please don't call me careless.)

I know the guy has built a billion-dollar empire. I know he has pulled New York from a $6 billion deficit to a $3 billion surplus. And the man can even fly a helicopter, something I can't help but admire...

But it seems (to me, at least) that his power as the billionaire mayor of “the greatest city in the world” has clearly gone to his head.

The final straw for me came last week, when Bloomberg ripped into medical marijuana in an interview with radio host John Gambling, during which he actually called it one of the “greatest hoaxes of all time.”

(You mean besides the New York Mets and CATS? Do tell...)

When asked about the New York State Assembly's plan to pass the Compassionate Care Act, which would legalize the drug for people suffering from debilitating conditions like cancer, multiple scleroses, and Parkinson's disease, Mr. Bloomberg scoffed in typical elitist fashion: "Yeah, right, medical [marijuana], come on. There's no medical. This is one of the great hoaxes of all times." 

Allow me to point out why this is ass backwards — and for a number of reasons.

First off, as a public health advocate (which I say ironically), the mayor may have to answer to the vast majority of doctors who support the measure.

In fact, 76% of physicians surveyed by the New England Journal of Medicine would approve medical marijuana for use to reduce pain in a cancer patient.

“Having worked for many years with oncology and rheumatology patients, I’ve seen the benefits of medical cannabis firsthand,” Lisa Roche Schroeder, a registered nurse for the past 25 years, told DrugPolicy.org.

“The science shows that medical marijuana helps with pain, nausea, appetite and chemotherapy side effects. It can be used for many purposes. The government should not be telling health care providers that they cannot recommend a medication that they think will help their patients.”

Are you seriously telling me that someone suffering from the nausea and appetite loss that comes standard with chemotherapy doesn't have the right to use a completely safe and natural substance to help them eat and not vomit afterward? I dare you to say that to anyone who has watched a loved one suffer through cancer treatment.

Bloomberg's comment was not only ignorant medically speaking, but politically speaking as well — 82% of New Yorkers support medical marijuana, and it's an even split between Democrats and Republicans.

But the mayor of Munchkin City didn't stop there...

He had to finish off his three-course meal of bullshit with this morsel:

"Drug dealers have families to feed," he said. "If they can't sell marijuana, they'll sell something else. And the something else is gonna be worse. And, the push to legalize this is just wrongheaded."

So, medical marijuana is going to endanger the livelihoods of local drug dealers... and force them into harder drugs?

What do we call that, "gateway entrepreneurship"?

“It's a very slippery path,” Bloomberg lamented.

Interesting choice of words from the same man who seeks to forbid you from drinking a large soda...

Let's spend a moment on slippery slopes: If Bloomberg were to have gotten his wish to ban large sodas in New York, it would have set a rather frightening precedent.

Imagine what could come next...

From Karen Harned at Forbes:

It is not much of a stretch to imagine Bloomberg requiring sandwich shops to serve only whole grain bread (more fiber), employees to use stairs instead of elevators (more exercise), or Girl Scouts to sell crates of apples instead of Thin Mints (more vitamins).

I'll be the first to admit I am concerned about the state of obesity in this country. You can't go to Wal-Mart without being run out of the aisle by an obese renegade in a Rascal scooter, piling cheese puffs into his cart like he's on Supermarket Sweep. We've all seen them and, yes, this problem is expanding our health care costs faster than the waistband on Michael Moores' sweatpants...

But at some point we need to stand up and demand that people take control of their own lives.

In a democratic society, free will must reign supreme.

Setting up a nanny state is anathema to everything America is supposed to stand for...

So when Bloomberg ended his interview by saying, “the old traditional American [should] be self-sufficient and dependent on yourself and take responsibility,” I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. 

It's typical political doublespeak.

We believe that you know what's best for you — that don't need a paternalistic technocrat like Mayor Bloomberg forcing lifestyle choices down your throat.

I don't think medical marijuana is one of the “greatest hoaxes of our time” — however, I think Bloomberg rewriting the New York Constitution to secure a third term is. Hugo Chavez and Vladimir Putin should be proud.

I could go on, but all this ranting is giving me a migraine... maybe I'll wash down some medical marijuana with a Super Big Gulp.


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